Meeting my favourite footballer
Me: Will you sign this?
Him: Yeah sure!
Him: Wait what is that?
Me: Marriage certificate..
Him: Wait, but I-
Me: SEE YOU AT HOME AT 7 FOR DINNER AND SEXY TIMES!
When you try to make a joke, but nobody thinks...
They are all like: & I’m just like: http://thatfunnyblog.tumblr.com/ Yup
I've gained 3 pounds over the holidays! :(
Im so sad, Im going to go eat.